Friday 21 April 2017

BEDTIME ENGLISH LESSONS


Reading bedtime stories to a 5-year old can be a challenging activity. Notwithstanding the hour of the day, it is often sprinkled with an unexpected epiphany.

As she moves into junior school, our daughter has come to accept that English spellings are more easily memorised than deciphered. With myriad spellings for phonetically similar words. And our parenthood has crossed one major milestone with that! However, before I could rejoice crossing one speed-bump of English literature, I seem to have encountered another one – Metaphors.

One night last week, we were reading couple of short fables from Aesop’s stable. I was about to conclude the second story and kiss my little girl goodnight, when she suddenly stopped my narration midway – the fox had gobbled all the chickens after entering the house by disguising himself as the mother hen. Really!

“What happened, love?”, I asked. I am accustomed to these interludes that sometimes become digressive.

“Daddy, I have a question.” I sensed a very digressive observation emerging. It was already past 11.

I took a deep patient breath. “Yes love, what do you want to know?”

“Why do we say – as cunning as a fox? Or – stupid as a donkey? Or say – slow as an elephant?”

“What exactly do you mean, sweetie?”. Frankly I wasn’t sure this was a simple question meriting a simple reply.

“I mean, foxes eat chickens, right? And donkeys are just hardworking animals that lift heavy stuff? And elephants are sooooo big. If they were to run or even walk fast, then everyone around would be soooooo scared, right?”

“Uh, yeah that is right, love. So… ?”

“So... my point is… all these animals are doing what is natural to them. Then why do we call the fox cunning? He’s not cunning. He’s simply getting his lunch. No?”. She looked expectantly at me.

I had two options. I could nod in agreement and she would be most likely satisfied. Only because it was end-of-day and she did look tired and sleepy. But I didn’t exercise that option.

The conscientious father inside me rose to this new challenge.

With as much brevity as possible, I embarked on a treatise on the pecking order in this world. How we are at the top of the food chain and all that. How our tiny brain outweighs the size of the heaviest animals and birds. How we are the most intelligent (and therefore arrogant too) species and don’t treat the planet well always. How we rule this world with our minds and often treat every other being as lesser. And that is why we label all animals with behaviour that we approve or disapprove of. Not because those animals really display such traits. But because we use them as examples. Examples to teach children (like her) of what’s right and what’s not.

“But, we are humans and we must never forget that with great power comes great responsibility (when she grows into superhero fandom, she will know where that line came from!). We must always remember that all species, except us, still live as they did since they came on Earth. Whatever they do is to follow the natural law. However, we human beings have developed in so many ways that are not good. And we do many things for wrong reasons. But, that you will learn about, as you grow up. In fact, since we are the smartest, we should always think kindly of all other animals, birds and plants (being an Indian dad means imparting a life-lesson at every opportunity). You know, take care of them. Have you understood, sweetie?”

She looked a bit lost. “Yes daddy. I understood. But… you know what I think?”

“Yes, tell me…”

“I think the fox did what he had to do. His tummy was growling, no? And he should eat something. My mother says you are hungry if your tummy growls. Even we eat chicken. So obviously, the fox too would want to eat chicken. Right?”

“Uh… right”

“The fox was not cunning. I think, the mother hen shouldn’t have left the door open. She was silly in doing that. So, we should actually say – as silly as a hen.”